


Dennis Gets Divorced

by ceralynn



Series: Fic Per Episode [2]
Category: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
Genre: Alcohol, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-11
Updated: 2015-03-11
Packaged: 2018-03-17 08:57:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 321
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3523292
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ceralynn/pseuds/ceralynn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"I can't fund my own bachelor party."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dennis Gets Divorced

Dennis sipped down what was probably his twentieth beer, opened his twenty-first. Mac sulked next to him.

"This is bullshit, man."

"Bullshit? You aren't drunk enough man, have another—"

"No, I am completely drunk, and this is still bullshit!" Mac's voiced jumped in pitch. "The kicking me out, the whole marriage! I meant what I said, man, marriage is a very serious thing."

Dennis sipped his beer, resting his chin in his free hand. "For the reproduction..?"

"No, dude! For, like, love! And stuff!" Mac's face was turning red. "Look, just, I mean, do you _love_ being married to this girl? To— to _Maureen Ponderosa_? Do you _love_ her, dude?"

Dennis set his beer down and studied it thoughtfully.

"Come on, man. What do you love?"

He looked up. "..drinking."

"Drinking..?"

"..with you."

Mac nodded, smiling.

"And— and, living with you! And passing out together!!" Dennis sipped his beer once again. "And, you know what, and taping all the girls I bang!"

"And letting me watch?"

"And letting you watch!"

Mac was practically giggling, amazed this conversation was going as well it was. He pulled back, becoming as serious as he could. "Hey man, there's a reason you two broke up in high school."

"..you're right dude!"

"We didn't break up."

"We didn't!"

"Right! We've been together forever!"

"We have, dude!" Dennis finished his drink, attempting to be serious as well. "You know, I don't think Maureen—" He flourished his arms. "Maureen Ponderosa broke my shell with her marriage."

"..you don't, dude?"

"Nope."

"..so you still don't feel? Or..?"

"Oh, no no no, I feel. But I think _you_ broke it."

Mac blinked, focused.

"By being.. by being my friend so long."

"..you really think so, dude?"

"Yeah," Dennis leaned in over the open can. "I mean, I love you.. I love.. drinking with you.. more than.. any girl I dated in high school."

Mac smiled. "That means a lot, dude."


End file.
